OK. If you can distract yourself from the distracting picture, let’s have a serious talk. (hee hee, serious?)
Wanna have EVERYTHING you ever wanted?
STOP TAKING YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY
If you have the talent of laughing at yourself…you can have whatever you want.
Stop it with the white-knuckled approach to life…”If this doesn’t turn out, IT’S ALL OVER!” Really? Really? (Not really!)
BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU
Period. What makes YOU special that bad things won’t happen?
The problem is that you make problems out of things that AREN’T a problem.
That person didn’t call you back. The sky rained on you. You didn’t get a sale today. Your washing machine caught on fire (OK, that one might be a bit of a problem).
Let me postulate something…
YOU ONLY TAKE YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING TO FAIL
I’ll give you a minute with that one.
…
…
If you KNEW you were going to succeed, you would get a KICK out of the mis-steps. The human foibles would give you a chance to let off some steam.
Yes! You did hit “close” on that program without saving the four hours of work you just put in. HI-larious!
Yes! You opened the wrong Power-Point at a meeting.
Yes! An instant message from your lover showed up on a web presentation.
Not professional, sure! But, still HI-larious. Laugh! Acknowledge the amazing imperfection of it all!
The secret?
WHEN YOU LAUGH, YOU ARE INFECTIOUS!
The Universe acknowledges that YOU get it! And then you get whatever you want.
SO, NEXT TIME YOU GET TOO SERIOUS
Put on a rockin’ good song and dance your booty off. Call a great friend and tell them how crazy you are for being freaked out by NOTHING. Write a vulnerable email – uncovering your humanity. Roll on the Floor Laughing.
And if you knew THAT you would laugh heartily at taking yourself so seriously! You don’t laugh when you make mistakes, because you don’t believe you are destined for greatness. Period.
People value that I am consistent. My company values that I have consistently been the top sales performer since I’ve been on board (over nine years).
My customers value that I behave consistently with them. I am always on time and I get back to them with meaningful information when they have questions.
So, my consistency is a GOOD thing.
But, I am looking to see where my consistency might not work in my favor! Perhaps my predictability also has LIMITING ramifications in my life. What barriers DON’T I break because someone might say, “That’s not LIKE you!”?
Know how when someone in the movies breaks through a behavior – they say the thing you’ve been wanting them to say, or they take the new action that turns the plot on a dime?
I’m thinking of things like Rapunzel when she cuts her hair off in Tangled…taking power away from the Wicked Witch.
Or, in the Karate Kid, where Daniel-son fights in spite of a torqued knee.
That’s not like YOU…can set you free! It is exhilirating! The crowd cheers!
What things do you NOT do (or say) that would open up a whole new world…but you do not do (or say them) because That’s Not LIKE You?
Help me out below with some of your own ideas – or some other favorite movie examples!
Love your “Not Like You” UP!
AND, shouts out to Cindi Carlson, Rob Bartlett, and Dan Polley, new “fans”. I am SO glad you are here.
Ever had that one client, that one boss, that one family member that EVERYTHING you do with them doesn’t work? No matter what they need, you screw it up?
I had a presentation with THAT customer today!
Today I had a presentation in the last stages of a competitive bid for an important contract.
EVERYBODY was on the phone.
The Executives, the decision-makers, the business unit people, the purchasers. EVERYBODY.
This presentation went the way all of my other interactions have gone with this customer. Wild technical difficulties to start. Fumbling my words. Stilted maneuvering through the product I was demonstrating. It’s been like this since the beginning…
A fun history
It’s been a train wreck the whole way through.
My first meeting with them I had to cancel because I was driving to see them mid-winter and I couldn’t get out of my neighborhood, the roads were so bad.
In my first presentation with them, they were ALL ice cold. I could not get meaningful eye contact with any of them.
The technical call with my Senior Vice President of Product Development and their whole team – I was a FULL eleven minutes late to the call (unprecedented).
This last presentation – just BARELY ran at all and BARELY got it done in the time allotted.
OY!
I was disenheartened after this call. It was my last opportunity to make a good impression. But, here’s the thing. We really do have a GREAT solution for what this customer needs.
What’s a girl to do?
My first inclination was to let it ride
I had done what I had done. It was over. RIGHT?
Then, the scary move
I wrote to the icy-est (is that a word?) business analyst. I wrote (paraphrase):
“Have you ever had that ONE client, that ONE boss, that ONE family member that you could never get it quite right with?
“For some odd reason your company seems to be that for me. I apologize for the technical difficulties I put you through. My presentation was stilted and I hope I didn’t put everyone to sleep. In nine years, I have never had this experience of everything going wrong. I hope that people can let the great products and services shine through, in spite of my bumbling. Is there anything else you need from me?”
I HATED looking this ridiculous, but you know what happened?
This Icy person sent me a warm email. She said “The technical difficulties didn’t bother any of us – it was a simple thing to manage. I have passed your email to the head of purchasing.”
Two birds with one stone!
Pretty cool! Not only had I been a “human” with the business analyst, but she gave me the opportunity to be a “human” with the purchasing person, too.
We might just win this thing!
We might not. But at least I can rest knowing that I have put the best possible foot forward for my company with products and services that deserve to win the contract.
MORAL OF THE STORY
Do not be afraid to let people know that YOU know that you could have done better and that you care that you didn’t do your best. People are amazing.
Tonight, I just wanted to go to bed. Hang it all up for the day.
Why? Facebook has changed their rules. I was wondering why I was getting no love. No Likes. Few comments.
then, I found out that Facebook changed their rules. NOW, if you LIKE my page, you also have to HOVER over the “Like” button and request that my updates show up in your feed.
There’s a Catch-22 here. I can’t tell people to do this if they aren’t getting my feeds.
I used to have such lovely conversation with my peeps. We were growing something. It has come to a screeeching halt!
Now, I have to re-think the entire scenario.
Actually, it is probably a good thing – here we are at the start of something GREAT! And I was giving my success to Facebook – something I cannot control.
Still, tonight I wanted to just GO TO BED and not post a thing. But, my PRIOMISE is that I will post every school night – five nights a week. Period. Whether people are watching or not.
So, tonight, being WILDY discouraged (I am just launching the bit.ly/vavavavoomregister interview with the AMAZING Bob Burg). A breakout event … and NO ONE is seeing it.
I noticed something today. We are headed to the end of the year and I started reviewing the goals I had set for myself at the beginning of the year.
I set Minimum, Target, and Optimal goals for each area of my life. Health, Home, Finances, Work, you know the drill.
Minimum, Target, Optimal
Minimum…the absolute minimum that I want to achieve.
Target … the “good” goal
Optimal…the very best I could imagine in that area
(This is something I learned from Jack Canfield in “Efffortless Success”)
Here’s what I noticed. There is one Optimal goal in particular…that I NAILED months ago. It happens to be the one that I have THE MOST EMOTION around.
When I got my puppy two years ago, we found out (at a very young age) that he has elbow dysplasia. A situation that can be crippling. Not years from now, crippling NOW. He was limping. I made my OPTIMAL goal that he would be healed (something the vets say is impossible). We haven’t done the x-rays yet – coming in December, but my puppy is HEALED, no limping, no pain, no signs.
When I found out about his situation, I was a WILD WOMAN. I was going to prove the authorities wrong. I have done EVERYTHING there is to do to make him better. And it has WORKED.
So, WHY not the other goals?
When I look at my other goals…I see that they looked like “nice to haves”. The ones that I had EMOTION around (even fear, sadness, worry), they got DONE. The ones that are less infused with emotion, not-so-much.
INTERESTING.
I’m actually a little disturbed. Some of the goals I set for myself…I really meant them. How do I conjure up FEELINGS … true FEELINGS for them? Am I so comfortable that I can only be driven by fear and worry for someone else? Am I only about the status quo until something bad is looming?
In college, my girlfriends and I loved the mantra…If you marry for money, you earn every penny!
Same goes for selling something you do not believe in…just to earn a check.
Do you KNOW you are doing the best for your clients? Can you speak passionately about your products and services and be the poster child for your wares?
Alright, I admit it … I have become a bit of an Erika Napoletano stalker of late. (www.redheadwriting.com)
There’s a good reason!
A break in the storm
And, no, I am not talking about Sandy here – although I am sending all my love for you who are dealing with her tonight.
I am talking about the Business storm. You may be familiar with it.
My entire life (since age 12), I have been hoping and studying and praying that one day…please, God…one day I would be a GREAT business person.
I ran an (unsuccessful) lemonade stand, have attended undergrad and graduate B-school. I have co-owned and sold a business. I have failed at starting a couple of businesses. I have been a top salesperson.
Still, the BRASS RING seemed so far away.
Business seemed like a minefield to me. One where you PROTECT your butt against people who will steal your idea. One where MOST BUSINESSES FAIL in the first three years. One where you had just better get used to the idea that it is a DOG-EAT-DOG world out there.
Erika was my break in the storm.
From zero to FUCK YEAH
Now, all of you know that I refrain from swearing whenever possible. Yet, you can hardly get to know and love Erika unless you understand this very raw premise.
Erika Napoletano is ONLY about getting your business and your life from zero to FUCK YEAH. And she means it. She does the work to filter out all of the stuff that will distract you from your goals. She serves as a MIGHTY resource. AND she backs it up by being on your side!
Someone who knows NOTHING about me wants me to win? Will teach me to be vulnerable? Will take time to understand my pain and EXALT in my successes? IS there such a thing in business?
Well, yes, THERE IS. And she is no small potatoes. She is a celebrated columnist for Entrepreneur Magazine. She is a sought-after consultant for tech firms. She is an author of a real live book. (The Power of UN-Popular) And….wait for it…
She is a Tedx Talker
I can prove it:
Now for the game
Erika is being LOVED UP for this Tedx Talk. She should be. It is amazing.
It is all about the Power of Being UnPopular (did you ever want to be one of the popular crowd? did you ever imagine there would be an advantage to being UN-popular? you will love this).
OK, my lovelies. If you have been following me for over one MINUTE, you KNOW that I am about YOU winning. That is why I post every single work day. For your success.
Now, I am asking YOU to help ME make someone ELSE successful. Let us show that The Irreverent Sales Girls (and guys who love The Irreverent Sales Girls) can make a BIG FAT SPLASH in the world.
Why I’m Showing This to You
When you find something that moves you, sharing it is key. So today, I’m sharing this with you in the hopes that it might move you, too.
If you like Erika’s talk, LIKE it on YouTube.
If it moved you, TELL HER in a comment on YouTube (she’s responding to everyone who leaves a comment — and there are over 100 so far!).
If you love the message, SHARE IT. On Facebook, via email, tie it to the leg of a carrier pigeon — whatever moves you.
The upside to all of this is that, on occasion, sometimes TED (the mothership) features TEDx talks (talks from smaller, independent events) on their main site. It’s kind of like winning a TED-flavored Oscar. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could be a part of letting TED know that we think Erika’s talk is an idea worth spreading? And if you’re not familiar with TED, that’s exactly what it is: Ideas Worth Spreading. People from all over the world give talks that are 18 minutes or less on ideas that move them, and in turn, TED.com moves people across the world by sharing, or as TED says, spreading them.
The Irreverent Sales Girl does not win a car if you do this!
The real power of what we are doing here is the power to CONNECT each other with amazing resources and opportunities.
Your “watch” and “like” and “comment” is something YOU can do for someone who is AMAZING and playing life BOLD.
I get nothing from it. YOU get my true and raw thanks.
I invite you to meet someone exceptional
You will laugh, you will be moved, and you will remember something stirring deep inside of you that is ready to be GREATER THAN YOU EVER IMAGINED.
Please watch the video, like it (if you do), and send a comment. Let’s get Erika to Ted.com!
Now, what can I do for YOU?
Post a comment about what you think of this game, and tell me something I can do for you.
One of the most amazing women on the planet today allowed ME to be a guest blogger on her site. Erika Napoletano is REDHEAD WRITING. She is a columnist for Entrepreneur Magazine, she is a Tedx Talker. She is, in short, the real deal.
AND, she is SO human.
I am humbled by her interest in the message of Bringing a Dash of Dignity to the Art of Sellling. So, today I share the Guest Blog that she allowed me to contribute.
As you might remember, I have been attending a GREAT BIG industry conference this week.
The other night, at a reception, I approached one of my favorite clients. I had my trusty sales assistant at my wing.
We were greeted warmly, by Client…who happened to be speaking with Prospect. Client introduced us to Propspect who perfunctorily shook our hands and then turned her back on us and started a new conversation with Client.
I stood next to Client (where I had been before). My wing assistant was a little crowded out by Prospect, and listened politely for a couple of minutes. When it was clear that Prospect was going to keep speaking with Client and ignoring us (I have never met this woman before), I touched Client’s arm and said “I’m going to grab a bite to eat, we’ll catch up later.” Client was gracious and Prospect at least had the decency to look a little embarrassed.
No, I’m not actually going to wait here to engage you in a conversation you do not want to have.
Throughout the conference
From time to time, we would see Prospect (there were a thousand people here, so it wasn’t often) and she always looked just downright snippy.
It’s not about you
About the third time we ran into Prospect with nary a glimpse of recognition, my trusty assistant leaned in and said. “You know. About 99% of the time that someone is nasty to you, it has nothing to do with you, but more about what’s going on with them.”
Left with compassion
When she said this, I immediately had compassion. I’m a pretty happy person and I love meeting new people. I thought, “Hmmmmm….Happy people tend to be really interested in other people. People who make a big fat difference in life seem to truly enjoy engaging.
And then I realized. She might just not be a very happy camper. And I left it alone.
Don’t let the nasties get you down
As I sit in my hotel room, preparing for the last leg of my conference, surrounded by the 20 serious connections I intended to make (and corresponding Thank You notes) and the dozen other REALLY inspiring people I got to know this week, I am reminded to focus on the great stuff I accomplished and let nasty Prospect deal with her own stuff. Which may be pretty serious stuff.